Whether you are starting from the ground up, moving into your first home, or you’ve been in your current house for years, I hope your home is intentional. I hope it brings you a sense of calm, gives you functionality, and ultimately, makes you happy, but if it doesn’t – you’re not alone.
We spent almost 10 years in our last home but we didn’t really make it an intentional space. That’s the goal for us this time around. Looking back at the handful of places we have lived in together over the years, apartments, houses, none of them were lived in as intentional homes. They served the purpose of sheltering us, keeping us safe, warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and providing the conveniences we recognize as privileges to most of the world. With that said, they were also filled with stuff and things, instead of purpose.
The spaces themselves created anxiety and stress as they were underutilized, cluttered with insignificant knickknacks, and fitted with hand-me-down furniture or pieces we randomly bought the night before our house-warming party.
Don’t get me wrong, we are grateful we even had furniture at all because trust me when I say the financial position we were in at the time left little room for groceries, let alone furniture splurges. However, as we put our heads together about how we would treat this new house differently from the others, it became abundantly clear we needed to lead with intention. From the floor plan to the interior design, we are meticulously creating this house to be a home we genuinely love and you can do the same.
Tip # 1
Utilize every space efficiently.
We have the rare experience of building not one, but two homes from the ground up ourselves. With the first home, our top priority was having a big enough home for a growing family. At the end of almost a decade, after realizing we would never be having kids, we were left with a lot of extra bedrooms that sat dormant, collecting dust and junk. With our forever home, we have specifically designed each room to serve a purpose and to be used often and no, we do not have any extra bedrooms – not even for guests. If you’re interested to learn more about exactly how we picked the perfect floor plan, I wrote a blog post that goes through each step of the process.
For us, the constant threat of “what will you do when guests come to stay with you?” was an absolute lie. Don’t get me wrong, we love to host. In fact, entertaining our family and friends is one of our absolute favorite things, but the number of guests who actually stayed in a bedroom over the years was very few – certainly not enough to justify including an entire room in the new house for that purpose alone.
Tip # 2
Only useful and/or joyful items may enter.
Instead of using Marie Kondo’s spark joy method when removing things from your home – we are implementing the same philosophy to items – before they even get through the front door. If something doesn’t have a specific purpose and/or make up happy – it’s a no-go.
One of the pieces I am most excited to bring into the new house is an upright, saloon-style piano that no longer works properly. It was a gift from my dad to my mom for their first anniversary. It makes zero sense to have a non-working piano in our house except for the fact it brings me joy. It’s been sitting in storage for almost two decades because I would never let my dad get rid of it. For years, I missed out on not having it in my home because it didn’t “go” with the other house, but the time has finally come and soon, it will be home with me.
Tip # 3
Be patient.
This is about taking the spaces you have, making the most of them, and only allowing pieces that put a smile on your face to co-exist in your safe haven which most likely is going to take some time. Too often, we get caught up in the idea that we need to fill our homes because it’s not the norm to live with empty spaces. This is where we get into trouble because in an effort to just put something somewhere, we start collecting stuff instead of taking the time to decide whether or not really truly enjoy the piece.
Tip # 4
Don’t settle.
This is not a sprint, this is a lifelong marathon. Don’t settle for something you kinda like or that “will do”. If you haven’t found the right item, keep looking!
Tip # 5
Spend within your means.
If you have found the right piece and it’s out of your budget, search for something similar at a lower price point (searching by the image on Pinterest is excellent for that!) or spend a little time saving up. If it’s not worth what you want to pay, it’s not for you and simply move on. Do not go into debt for furniture. I repeat – DO NOT GO INTO DEBT FOR FURNITURE.
No matter your budget, there are ways to still make your space functional and beautiful without breaking the bank. I follow some incredible DIY beginners on Instagram who have created everything from custom closets to console tables for a fraction of the price they would have paid retail and they were able to make exactly what they wanted without compromise. Facebook Marketplace is also a great way to snag pieces when trying to keep costs low. Sometimes all it takes is a little elbow grease and some paint to renew a piece and make it something you love.
Tip # 6
Let it go.
Your style will undoubtedly forever evolve. Instead of fighting the inevitable changes, lean into it and allow your decor to come and go as needed. If you no longer find something appealing or purposeful, let it go! Before there was Marie Kondo, there was an Oprah column I read in her magazine where she talked about letting go of symbolic possessions. For Oprah, she was the proud owner of a tub, hand-carved from a single piece of onyx. It was rare, expensive, but it was time to let it go. There was one small problem – Oprah found herself emotionally attached to this tub despite not being overly wild about it anymore. After some soul searching, she realized she had allowed it to represent her success in a way, like owning this exotic tub was proof of how accomplished she was.
Too often, we tie our own worth – human worth – to our possessions. Like somehow, the more we have, the more respect others will give us. Or the more expensive the objects, the more impressed others will be with us. Let that go!
This isn’t about owning the most expensive house or most lavish furnishings. Your home can and should be your place of calm no matter the square footage or budget size. You are the one who lives there. Fill it with what makes you happy. Photos with friends and family (my personal fave!), trinkets from your treasured travels, the dishes your grandma passed down. Don’t worry about what is on trend or what others are going to think of your style decisions. Choose what is going to work for your family and enjoy it!
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